There's a bunch of companies that will come and haul stuff for you in the Bay Area. Do you have these too? They're not exactly moving companies, they'll haul trash, or brush, or help you move out in the middle of the night.
I saw one of the companies' trucks today. Emblazoned on the side was, "We Haul for You! We're Open 25/7 and Weekends - Call Us Anytime!"
Friday, February 6, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
New Baby Advice
From almost exactly a year ago, written for friends who were about to become first time parents:
So, pal, you're days away from being a parent - woo-hoo! It was really frustrating tome that no one told me all this, but EVERYONE agrees if you talk about it. There's some unwritten rule that you can never talk about the ways parenting sucks.
1. You will love your baby, but you certainly won't like her at first. At first, it'll seem like the kid has ruined your life - you can't sleep, eat, or even brush your teeth regularly. To top it all off, there will be hours-long crying jags, and the kid won't really look at you, much less smile at you. It will get better around the 8 weekmark - the baby will look and even smile at you, she'll sleep, and not shit constantly.
2. Time will take on a weird, elastic property, so your life will seem completely suspended, and yet the days will fly by. It's very strange. Just go with it.
You are not losing your mind. I promise.
3. You and your partner might start to doubt each other's parenting abilities. One of you will put on the diaper "the wrong way". Don't fight these feelings, you
can't. Just acknowledge in saner moments that there are many ways to diaper/feed/dress/hold a kid.
4. The baby will breathe weirdly. This is normal. It's also normal to stare intently at her while she breathes, just to make sure it's happening. You could fight the feeling, but why? You'll spend just as much time actively concentrating on NOT LOOKING, so be gentle with yourself and just give into the neurosis. It'll pass.
5. At some point, you will become so tired that you will think about strapping the kid in the car seat and putting her in the closet for a few hours so you can
sleep. Don't do this. However, it is totally OK to strap her in and leave her unattended while you go to the bathroom, talk to another adult, etc. She won't die from being a little bit alone - hell, she won't even remember it.
6. Baby poop isn't super gross. While she eats, she'll unleash a torrent of poop. Wait a few minutes before changing her - there'll be more.
7. Babies are sometimes creepy. At some point, in the middle of some night, you will be exhausted. You will notice that the baby is staring intently at something
you can't see. It will seem like she is wordlessly communicating with this something. Don't worry - your baby is not a ghost whisperer - you are just sleep deprived.
8. Nursing hurts at first. A lot. Don't believe the lactation consultants that tell you if feels great. ALL LIES. Make sure the latch is correct, stock up on Lansinoh, and know that in about two weeks (which will feel like 184 years), it will feel great.
Happy parenting!
So, pal, you're days away from being a parent - woo-hoo! It was really frustrating tome that no one told me all this, but EVERYONE agrees if you talk about it. There's some unwritten rule that you can never talk about the ways parenting sucks.
1. You will love your baby, but you certainly won't like her at first. At first, it'll seem like the kid has ruined your life - you can't sleep, eat, or even brush your teeth regularly. To top it all off, there will be hours-long crying jags, and the kid won't really look at you, much less smile at you. It will get better around the 8 weekmark - the baby will look and even smile at you, she'll sleep, and not shit constantly.
2. Time will take on a weird, elastic property, so your life will seem completely suspended, and yet the days will fly by. It's very strange. Just go with it.
You are not losing your mind. I promise.
3. You and your partner might start to doubt each other's parenting abilities. One of you will put on the diaper "the wrong way". Don't fight these feelings, you
can't. Just acknowledge in saner moments that there are many ways to diaper/feed/dress/hold a kid.
4. The baby will breathe weirdly. This is normal. It's also normal to stare intently at her while she breathes, just to make sure it's happening. You could fight the feeling, but why? You'll spend just as much time actively concentrating on NOT LOOKING, so be gentle with yourself and just give into the neurosis. It'll pass.
5. At some point, you will become so tired that you will think about strapping the kid in the car seat and putting her in the closet for a few hours so you can
sleep. Don't do this. However, it is totally OK to strap her in and leave her unattended while you go to the bathroom, talk to another adult, etc. She won't die from being a little bit alone - hell, she won't even remember it.
6. Baby poop isn't super gross. While she eats, she'll unleash a torrent of poop. Wait a few minutes before changing her - there'll be more.
7. Babies are sometimes creepy. At some point, in the middle of some night, you will be exhausted. You will notice that the baby is staring intently at something
you can't see. It will seem like she is wordlessly communicating with this something. Don't worry - your baby is not a ghost whisperer - you are just sleep deprived.
8. Nursing hurts at first. A lot. Don't believe the lactation consultants that tell you if feels great. ALL LIES. Make sure the latch is correct, stock up on Lansinoh, and know that in about two weeks (which will feel like 184 years), it will feel great.
Happy parenting!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Good Dog, Carl
Nothing new around here, so I decided to just cut and paste some old stories until I have some inspiration. Here's one from July 2007!
Do you know the Carl books? They're picture books for toddlers. Carl is a rottweiler who inexplicably is allowed to babysit a baby. Hilarity - low key and sweet - ensues.
In Good Dog, Carl, as soon as his owner leaves him in charge, he takes the baby out of her crib and they jump on the bed, put makeup and jewelry on, swim in the fish tank, play records, make a snack, and take a ride down the laundry chute. He then gives her a bath, blow dries her, and hoists her back into the crib right before his owner comes back. She finds them both sleeping peacefully and exclaims, "Good Dog, Carl!"
We "read" this book for the thousandth time tonight. How do you read a book with almost no words?
Anyway, halfway through, at the image of Carl holding the baby in the fish tank, Abby started saying that Carl wasn't a good dog - he was a stupid dog. We asked
her why Carl was stupid. She said that putting a baby in a fish tank and pushing her down a laundry chute are BAD things to do. We went through the rest, with her
adding her commentary. Honestly? None of Carl's actions were really good dog-ish. In fact, Carl is a bad dog.
So I asked Abby if she'd like to write a Bad Dog, Carl book. She said yes, so I asked her what the bad Carl would do.
Here were her ideas:
1. Bite the baby.
2. Eat all the food.
3. Chew on the baby's toys.
4. Pop her balloons (in Carl's Day at the Park, he attaches the baby to a bunch of balloons)
5. Poop in the living room.
Anyway, here's my advice: don't let the dog babysit. Especially if he can turn on a blow dryer.
Do you know the Carl books? They're picture books for toddlers. Carl is a rottweiler who inexplicably is allowed to babysit a baby. Hilarity - low key and sweet - ensues.
In Good Dog, Carl, as soon as his owner leaves him in charge, he takes the baby out of her crib and they jump on the bed, put makeup and jewelry on, swim in the fish tank, play records, make a snack, and take a ride down the laundry chute. He then gives her a bath, blow dries her, and hoists her back into the crib right before his owner comes back. She finds them both sleeping peacefully and exclaims, "Good Dog, Carl!"
We "read" this book for the thousandth time tonight. How do you read a book with almost no words?
Anyway, halfway through, at the image of Carl holding the baby in the fish tank, Abby started saying that Carl wasn't a good dog - he was a stupid dog. We asked
her why Carl was stupid. She said that putting a baby in a fish tank and pushing her down a laundry chute are BAD things to do. We went through the rest, with her
adding her commentary. Honestly? None of Carl's actions were really good dog-ish. In fact, Carl is a bad dog.
So I asked Abby if she'd like to write a Bad Dog, Carl book. She said yes, so I asked her what the bad Carl would do.
Here were her ideas:
1. Bite the baby.
2. Eat all the food.
3. Chew on the baby's toys.
4. Pop her balloons (in Carl's Day at the Park, he attaches the baby to a bunch of balloons)
5. Poop in the living room.
Anyway, here's my advice: don't let the dog babysit. Especially if he can turn on a blow dryer.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration
So. Not sure what profound thing I can say that hasn't been said. I watched with Emma's school, where I wept a lot, and was called a "crybaby" by some punk eight year olds.
His speech was so incredibly moving, especially
Oh, swoon.
One of the kids, upon seeing Bill and Hillary Clinton, said, "Hey, there's Hillary! I think that guy's her husband!" Sorry, Bill, history is a swift moving river.
And I loved Aretha's hat. Suck it, haters.
Oh, and did you see Cheney? He's using a wheelchair because he hurt his back moving boxes into his new house. Instant karma got you, sucker!
What was your favorite part?
His speech was so incredibly moving, especially
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Oh, swoon.
One of the kids, upon seeing Bill and Hillary Clinton, said, "Hey, there's Hillary! I think that guy's her husband!" Sorry, Bill, history is a swift moving river.
And I loved Aretha's hat. Suck it, haters.
Oh, and did you see Cheney? He's using a wheelchair because he hurt his back moving boxes into his new house. Instant karma got you, sucker!
What was your favorite part?
Monday, January 19, 2009
On MLK
Martin Luther King has been an inspiration to me for a super long time. I've always admired how even when he was weary, he wasn't bitter. When he was disappointed, he didn't give up. When he was beaten, arrested, threatened, he didn't strike back - he just planned his next steps.
Obama's victory is such a gift from MLK's work, but racism and inequity are still everywhere.
On Friday, a woman was talking about doing social justice work, and the fatigue that sets in, and she reminded us to remember that our heroes, who had such an impact, still didn't "solve the problem."
This is my new mantra.
Obama's victory is such a gift from MLK's work, but racism and inequity are still everywhere.
On Friday, a woman was talking about doing social justice work, and the fatigue that sets in, and she reminded us to remember that our heroes, who had such an impact, still didn't "solve the problem."
This is my new mantra.
Bush, a Retrospective of Sorts
Hey, we have less than a day left with this dude as our President! Yay! I was going to rail against his anti-choice legislation, No Child Left Behind, economic policies, and bigoted, heavy handed foreign policy, but the combination of Martin Luther King Day and the inauguration has left me giddy, so let's focus on the fun! Let's have a retrospective, shall we?
Remember those kinder, gentler days before 9/11? When Bush was either on vacation, or en route to a vacation, during 42% of his presidency? When he spent the entire month of August on vacation in Crawford Texas, riding bikes and pontificating on armadillos and cutting trees? Here's a great interview where he talks about his ranch:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/08/20010825-2.html
Why didn't we impeach the guy for not showing up for work? I don't know about you, but if I didn't work 42% of the time for eight months straight, I would certainly be out of a job. One of the things that has enraged me the past eight years is that he fucks up so blatantly, and there a no repercussions.
So, back to the jokes!
Remember in 2002 when he showed up looking like he was in a bar fight? It turns out that he choked on a pretzel, passed out, and his glasses smashed into his face. Really, this could happen to anyone, but it still cracks me up!
Proving that Bush loves the ladies (he just doesn't trust them to make their own choices!), he decided to helpfully massage German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the G8 Summit. Good times!
Remember when Karl Rove retired? Remember what he couldn't wait to do in his free time? DOVE HUNT. If he could no longer deter world peace, he'd at least kill its symbol!
I thought the irony would poke my eye out when Bush said that Obama was suffering from "intellectual laziness." Ha! Remember that racist little gem?
And now, for the bird poop:
What were your favorite WTF moments of the Bush presidency?
Remember those kinder, gentler days before 9/11? When Bush was either on vacation, or en route to a vacation, during 42% of his presidency? When he spent the entire month of August on vacation in Crawford Texas, riding bikes and pontificating on armadillos and cutting trees? Here's a great interview where he talks about his ranch:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/08/20010825-2.html
Why didn't we impeach the guy for not showing up for work? I don't know about you, but if I didn't work 42% of the time for eight months straight, I would certainly be out of a job. One of the things that has enraged me the past eight years is that he fucks up so blatantly, and there a no repercussions.
So, back to the jokes!
Remember in 2002 when he showed up looking like he was in a bar fight? It turns out that he choked on a pretzel, passed out, and his glasses smashed into his face. Really, this could happen to anyone, but it still cracks me up!
Proving that Bush loves the ladies (he just doesn't trust them to make their own choices!), he decided to helpfully massage German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the G8 Summit. Good times!
Remember when Karl Rove retired? Remember what he couldn't wait to do in his free time? DOVE HUNT. If he could no longer deter world peace, he'd at least kill its symbol!
I thought the irony would poke my eye out when Bush said that Obama was suffering from "intellectual laziness." Ha! Remember that racist little gem?
And now, for the bird poop:
What were your favorite WTF moments of the Bush presidency?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I Wouldn't Lick There, Either
Abby and I were having brunch together this morning. She was eating a bowl of blueberries and commented that only she liked them. I disagreed, saying everyone in our family enjoys them. She begged to differ, so I reminded her that Leo, Emma, and I all like berries. She said, "But Acorn and Isaac don't like them!!!" So I said, "But they're cats, so what do they know about fruit?"
She started talking about how great the cats are, and how much they do know, so I asked if she'd like to be a cat. Her reply?
"No way!!! They lick their own heinies! I don't want to lick my poop!"
She started talking about how great the cats are, and how much they do know, so I asked if she'd like to be a cat. Her reply?
"No way!!! They lick their own heinies! I don't want to lick my poop!"
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Career Advice for Advertisers
There's a banner ad for degrees.info that says "how do i become......" and then has all these cartoon people with job titles under them. Strangely, they are all doing yoga poses. "Yoga instructor" is not an option - it leans more towards medical transcription and billing.
I am deeply confused. What does it mean? Will i be more relaxed once i have a career path? Should i do yoga before clicking the ad? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
Who designed the ad? What were they thinking? Don't they know that every little part of your ad needs to relate back to what you're selling?
Where's the beef?
Mikey likes it!
Those stupid Budweiser frogs.
The Oscar Meyer song.
I'd understand the yoga in a laxative ad. But medical transcription? Auto body tech?
I just don't get it.
I am deeply confused. What does it mean? Will i be more relaxed once i have a career path? Should i do yoga before clicking the ad? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
Who designed the ad? What were they thinking? Don't they know that every little part of your ad needs to relate back to what you're selling?
Where's the beef?
Mikey likes it!
Those stupid Budweiser frogs.
The Oscar Meyer song.
I'd understand the yoga in a laxative ad. But medical transcription? Auto body tech?
I just don't get it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
When Hope and Fear Collide
Well. Long time, no post, huh? I don't really know why I haven't written anything - I just got a little scattered there. But now Abby's running around singing Joan Jett's Bad Reputation, Emma's making masks, and Leo's off kayaking, and I feel a rant coming on.
When I was in grad school, we had to read When Hope and Fear Collide. I wasn't super impressed, but I've always loved the title. It completely defines how I feel about the election.
I was totally psyched to watch Obama get elected. You go, Ohio, with your blue stateness! I watched his acceptance speech with about 50 students - we were crying and cheering. I am so proud. That's it. I had been white knuckling it for weeks, worried about how important racism is to our country. But hope won over fear.
But this election sucked. Thanks a lot, California. I am so ashamed of my state for Prop 8. We've been marching and sending letters and everything, but I was completely blindsided by the level of hate in this state. There's been a lot of great commentary on Prop 8 already - check out Keith Olbermann and Prop 8: The Musical - so I'm not going to blah blah blah too much. I just want to urge everyone to not let up the pressure - let's march on Washington. Boycott businesses that support bigotry. Just as importantly, support businesses that promote equality. We live in a country that values money and power over all - let's use ours to apply some pressure.
And wow, speaking of money, we really fucked ourselves over, huh? When we lived in Santa Cruz, we were approved for a $500,000 mortgage and told by the bank that if we asked for more, we could get an additional $200-300,000. A big, national bank approved us - it wasn't Bob's Mortgage and Tires. I remember flipping out on the lender, because we wouldn't EVER have been able to afford the monthly payment - it was more than we were earning. I asked him how he could sleep at night, knowing he was ruining families. He just laughed and said it wasn't bad - that I'd just sell that house at a profit, have more capital for the next house, and just keep buying and selling until I had made enough sales to actually afford a house. This was his PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. Ugh.
On a happier note, we had a great holiday! Instead of presents, we try to give each other experiences. We've given museum memberships, days at the boardwalk, movie trips, etc. For my birthday, Leo took me to Chez Panisse. This Christmas, we gifted our family a road trip. We went all over Oregon - hung out in Portland, visited friends, slept in yurts on the coast, played in snow, explored tidepools, went to museums and national forests and the aquarium. It was so awesome just to be together for over a week with no obligations, no plans, and an open map.
So, I promise to write more frequently. I've been planning my Bush retrospective for a while now!
When I was in grad school, we had to read When Hope and Fear Collide. I wasn't super impressed, but I've always loved the title. It completely defines how I feel about the election.
I was totally psyched to watch Obama get elected. You go, Ohio, with your blue stateness! I watched his acceptance speech with about 50 students - we were crying and cheering. I am so proud. That's it. I had been white knuckling it for weeks, worried about how important racism is to our country. But hope won over fear.
But this election sucked. Thanks a lot, California. I am so ashamed of my state for Prop 8. We've been marching and sending letters and everything, but I was completely blindsided by the level of hate in this state. There's been a lot of great commentary on Prop 8 already - check out Keith Olbermann and Prop 8: The Musical - so I'm not going to blah blah blah too much. I just want to urge everyone to not let up the pressure - let's march on Washington. Boycott businesses that support bigotry. Just as importantly, support businesses that promote equality. We live in a country that values money and power over all - let's use ours to apply some pressure.
And wow, speaking of money, we really fucked ourselves over, huh? When we lived in Santa Cruz, we were approved for a $500,000 mortgage and told by the bank that if we asked for more, we could get an additional $200-300,000. A big, national bank approved us - it wasn't Bob's Mortgage and Tires. I remember flipping out on the lender, because we wouldn't EVER have been able to afford the monthly payment - it was more than we were earning. I asked him how he could sleep at night, knowing he was ruining families. He just laughed and said it wasn't bad - that I'd just sell that house at a profit, have more capital for the next house, and just keep buying and selling until I had made enough sales to actually afford a house. This was his PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. Ugh.
On a happier note, we had a great holiday! Instead of presents, we try to give each other experiences. We've given museum memberships, days at the boardwalk, movie trips, etc. For my birthday, Leo took me to Chez Panisse. This Christmas, we gifted our family a road trip. We went all over Oregon - hung out in Portland, visited friends, slept in yurts on the coast, played in snow, explored tidepools, went to museums and national forests and the aquarium. It was so awesome just to be together for over a week with no obligations, no plans, and an open map.
So, I promise to write more frequently. I've been planning my Bush retrospective for a while now!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Anonymous Love
So, I got the funniest comment ever on my last post:
"Wake up looking like Cat Woman, or at least Cindy McCain!"
Oh, Anonymous, I love you and your snarky humor!
"Wake up looking like Cat Woman, or at least Cindy McCain!"
Oh, Anonymous, I love you and your snarky humor!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The "Jackassery" of the Right
I've been firmly rubbing my forehead to remind myself to stop furrowing it whenever John McCain or Sarah Palin open their fucking mouths.
I just cannot get over the tone of this clip. McCain's just so blase about his disdain for women's health. Ugh. The air quotes seriously required me to WALK AWAY from the TV. Seriously, women don't get late term abortions because they're inconvenienced, or uncomfortable, or because their feet are too swollen. They get them because THEY WILL DIE if they continue to carry the fetus that they probably LOVE and WANT. It is a shitty, horrible, hellish decision to make - how dare that idiot air-quote health???
Look, I know that there are lots of reasonable, loving people on both sides of the abortion debate. But the air quotes just highlighted just how ANTI-LIFE McCain actually is - whose lives, anyway?
In October 2007, he voted for legislation that would cut Health and Human Services grants to organizations that perform abortions. You know, the ones that provide low cost health care - not just abortion - to millions of uninsured women.
He has voted to require parental consent for teenagers who want access to contraceptives.
He voted against an amendment that would have allocated $100 million for the prevention of teen pregnancy by providing education and contraceptives.
He opposed legislation requiring that abstinence-only programs be medically accurate and based in science.
He voted to abolish funding for birth control and gynecological care for low-income women, and against funding for public education on emergency contraception.
He also voted against a measure that would require insurance companies to cover prescription contraception.
In April, he skipped the vote on the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. He's stated that he was against the act because there'd be too many lawsuits against employers.
In 1993, before voting in favor of the Family and Medical Leave Act, he proposed allowing the government to suspend the law if it found that the act would increase the cost to business.
He voted with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s positions only 7 percent of the time.
McCain voted at least six times to reduce, eliminate or restrict health insurance programs for low-income children and pregnant women.
In August 2007, he again voted against a bill to expand coverage of SCHIP (healthcare for low income children).
In 2000, he voted against providing tax credits to small businesses that offer health insurance.
He voted against a $3,000 tax credit to help seniors and their families cover long-term care.
He has voted seven times for measures that cut or restricted funding for Medicaid, and 18 times for measures that cut or restricted Medicare.
This year, he suggested that increasing cigarette sales to Iran would be "a way of killing 'em."
At a 1998 Republican Senate fundraiser, McCain proffered this “joke”: “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” Answer: “Because her father is Janet Reno.”
If these are the jokes he tells in public, what are his naughty jokes? Here's another public McCain knee slapper: "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"
And another: "The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
As for his running mate, she's made rape survivors pay for their rape kit, opposes abortion, and has shot wolves from a helicopter. After Obama won the nomination, she reportedly said, "So Sambo beat the bitch!"
It never ceases to amaze me that people are so willing to believe in his "compassionate courage" bullshit. Where is the compassion? If he were truly pro-LIFE, he'd support some bills that educate, that provide healthcare, that support children and families. Until he does that, he can cram his "moral" courage up his ass.
I started this post with the forehead rub, because I was going to write a quick little paragraph about the air quotes felt on every uterus, and then write about how I've been freaking out a bit about aging, and how I found an eye cream that actually works and reduces wrinkles, and how I'm worried that it works, because I think this is how all that creepy "enhancement" stuff that women do to stave off aging starts. No one plans for a full facelift, but you find a good eye cream, and then if the eye cream makes you look better, won't Botox still be subtle and good? Or a little brow lift? And then one day you wake up looking like the Cat Woman.
http://minhanoticia.ig.com.br/upload/20080225/25112237.jpg
I just cannot get over the tone of this clip. McCain's just so blase about his disdain for women's health. Ugh. The air quotes seriously required me to WALK AWAY from the TV. Seriously, women don't get late term abortions because they're inconvenienced, or uncomfortable, or because their feet are too swollen. They get them because THEY WILL DIE if they continue to carry the fetus that they probably LOVE and WANT. It is a shitty, horrible, hellish decision to make - how dare that idiot air-quote health???
Look, I know that there are lots of reasonable, loving people on both sides of the abortion debate. But the air quotes just highlighted just how ANTI-LIFE McCain actually is - whose lives, anyway?
In October 2007, he voted for legislation that would cut Health and Human Services grants to organizations that perform abortions. You know, the ones that provide low cost health care - not just abortion - to millions of uninsured women.
He has voted to require parental consent for teenagers who want access to contraceptives.
He voted against an amendment that would have allocated $100 million for the prevention of teen pregnancy by providing education and contraceptives.
He opposed legislation requiring that abstinence-only programs be medically accurate and based in science.
He voted to abolish funding for birth control and gynecological care for low-income women, and against funding for public education on emergency contraception.
He also voted against a measure that would require insurance companies to cover prescription contraception.
In April, he skipped the vote on the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. He's stated that he was against the act because there'd be too many lawsuits against employers.
In 1993, before voting in favor of the Family and Medical Leave Act, he proposed allowing the government to suspend the law if it found that the act would increase the cost to business.
He voted with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s positions only 7 percent of the time.
McCain voted at least six times to reduce, eliminate or restrict health insurance programs for low-income children and pregnant women.
In August 2007, he again voted against a bill to expand coverage of SCHIP (healthcare for low income children).
In 2000, he voted against providing tax credits to small businesses that offer health insurance.
He voted against a $3,000 tax credit to help seniors and their families cover long-term care.
He has voted seven times for measures that cut or restricted funding for Medicaid, and 18 times for measures that cut or restricted Medicare.
This year, he suggested that increasing cigarette sales to Iran would be "a way of killing 'em."
At a 1998 Republican Senate fundraiser, McCain proffered this “joke”: “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” Answer: “Because her father is Janet Reno.”
If these are the jokes he tells in public, what are his naughty jokes? Here's another public McCain knee slapper: "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"
And another: "The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
As for his running mate, she's made rape survivors pay for their rape kit, opposes abortion, and has shot wolves from a helicopter. After Obama won the nomination, she reportedly said, "So Sambo beat the bitch!"
It never ceases to amaze me that people are so willing to believe in his "compassionate courage" bullshit. Where is the compassion? If he were truly pro-LIFE, he'd support some bills that educate, that provide healthcare, that support children and families. Until he does that, he can cram his "moral" courage up his ass.
I started this post with the forehead rub, because I was going to write a quick little paragraph about the air quotes felt on every uterus, and then write about how I've been freaking out a bit about aging, and how I found an eye cream that actually works and reduces wrinkles, and how I'm worried that it works, because I think this is how all that creepy "enhancement" stuff that women do to stave off aging starts. No one plans for a full facelift, but you find a good eye cream, and then if the eye cream makes you look better, won't Botox still be subtle and good? Or a little brow lift? And then one day you wake up looking like the Cat Woman.
http://minhanoticia.ig.com.br/upload/20080225/25112237.jpg
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Spin Cycle
I come from a blue class, largely uneducated family. I am the first person to go to college. Leo's family is very similar, although he grew up in towns with a higher socioeconomic reputation, so he was exposed to more people with college degrees.
I am certainly not saying that college educated people are somehow better or smarter - believe me, I have worked with plenty of "educated idiots." I have also known a lot of blue collar people who are smarter than I will ever be.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've had several conversations with our parents and people my parents' age, and I am concerned - very concerned - about how they'll vote. I've been shocked multiple times at the way race and perceived elitism impacts middle aged Americans. I'm reminded that the racial divide was HUGE when they were growing up. And that their concern and defensiveness about the loss of their jobs and their sense of worth creates a wall of hostility about the educated elite.
Also, I think McCain and Palin did really well in the debates. I do. Biden and Obama gave really nuanced, thoughtful, quiet answers. Palin gave a loud, rootin' tootin', sound bite filled performance. The WINK!!! (Don't worry, I'll leave the rant about how winking in a job interview is totally unacceptable out of this post). McCain was on the offensive and planted a lot of fear-based ideas. Ugh.
Luckily for me, my family are die hard Democrats, so it looks like Thanksgiving will be safe. However, if you find yourself debating the candidates, STICK TO QUICK, CLEAR SOUND BITES. A thoughtful response isn't as helpful. Here's a few to get you started:
1. Elite is owning 11 houses - many of them mansions.
2. Elite is having your Admiral dad get you a job.
3. Elite is spending over $200,000 on household staff last year.
2. Health insurance costs about $12000 a year. $5000 won't even cover HALF.
3. Barak Obama doesn't care if you want to shoot deer. I'd advise against hunting with McCain.
4. Being a war hero does not make you a good President. It's a different skill set.
4a. I would certainly argue that he was NOT a war hero. He was an incompetent pilot that crashed three planes before going to Viet Nam. Once captured, he traded information for medical care. Once his captors realized who his father was, he got even better medical care. In all, he had about 20 HOURS in combat before he was captured. Since then, he's received 28 medals for his service. Don't let him guilt you into voting for him. Think about all the other un-Fortunate Sons who served with him, who evaded capture - or when captured, didn't collude - who never received ANY medals or praise or "hero" status.
5. Calling your wife a cunt - the year Backlash came out! - is crude and icky.
6. Singing "Bomb Iran" to "Barbara Ann" is tasteless.
7. Voting with Bush is not maverick-ish. Hell, calling yourself a Maverick makes you less of a Maverick. It's like yelling, "Hey, I'm cool!" If you have to tell people you are something, you are probably not.
8. His use of race baiting in the campaign is unprofessional.
If you need more:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95591135
I am certainly not saying that college educated people are somehow better or smarter - believe me, I have worked with plenty of "educated idiots." I have also known a lot of blue collar people who are smarter than I will ever be.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've had several conversations with our parents and people my parents' age, and I am concerned - very concerned - about how they'll vote. I've been shocked multiple times at the way race and perceived elitism impacts middle aged Americans. I'm reminded that the racial divide was HUGE when they were growing up. And that their concern and defensiveness about the loss of their jobs and their sense of worth creates a wall of hostility about the educated elite.
Also, I think McCain and Palin did really well in the debates. I do. Biden and Obama gave really nuanced, thoughtful, quiet answers. Palin gave a loud, rootin' tootin', sound bite filled performance. The WINK!!! (Don't worry, I'll leave the rant about how winking in a job interview is totally unacceptable out of this post). McCain was on the offensive and planted a lot of fear-based ideas. Ugh.
Luckily for me, my family are die hard Democrats, so it looks like Thanksgiving will be safe. However, if you find yourself debating the candidates, STICK TO QUICK, CLEAR SOUND BITES. A thoughtful response isn't as helpful. Here's a few to get you started:
1. Elite is owning 11 houses - many of them mansions.
2. Elite is having your Admiral dad get you a job.
3. Elite is spending over $200,000 on household staff last year.
2. Health insurance costs about $12000 a year. $5000 won't even cover HALF.
3. Barak Obama doesn't care if you want to shoot deer. I'd advise against hunting with McCain.
4. Being a war hero does not make you a good President. It's a different skill set.
4a. I would certainly argue that he was NOT a war hero. He was an incompetent pilot that crashed three planes before going to Viet Nam. Once captured, he traded information for medical care. Once his captors realized who his father was, he got even better medical care. In all, he had about 20 HOURS in combat before he was captured. Since then, he's received 28 medals for his service. Don't let him guilt you into voting for him. Think about all the other un-Fortunate Sons who served with him, who evaded capture - or when captured, didn't collude - who never received ANY medals or praise or "hero" status.
5. Calling your wife a cunt - the year Backlash came out! - is crude and icky.
6. Singing "Bomb Iran" to "Barbara Ann" is tasteless.
7. Voting with Bush is not maverick-ish. Hell, calling yourself a Maverick makes you less of a Maverick. It's like yelling, "Hey, I'm cool!" If you have to tell people you are something, you are probably not.
8. His use of race baiting in the campaign is unprofessional.
If you need more:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95591135
Friday, September 19, 2008
At Least It Wasn't Regurgitation
Abby has been learning how letters form words. This morning I asked her if she'd like to learn to write a word. She replied, "Sure! YES!!", so I asked what word she'd like to learn.
"Hairless cat!"
Oh. Okay.
So now my four year old, who does not know how to spell ball or run or Spot, can spell HAIRLESS CAT.
"Hairless cat!"
Oh. Okay.
So now my four year old, who does not know how to spell ball or run or Spot, can spell HAIRLESS CAT.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Things That Simultaneously Fascinate and Gross Me Out
1. The sexy M&M. The tagline should be "Eat me!" I am horrified. She's saying, "Hey, fuck me! And then devour me! Yum!"
2. Microwaved potatoes. Baked potatoes should be, you know, baked. However, I grudgingly LOVE them when they're so over-nuked that they're crunchy.
3. Monistat makes an anti-chafing gel. I read that you can use it on your face as a pore minimizer thing, which in the moment, seemed totally rational. How innovative! So I bought some. And then I was too grossed out to actually apply the crap to my face. But I have these really cute orange Maryjanes that totally KILL my feet - blister, rubbed spots, you've got the picture. So I tried the gel on my feet. IT KICKS ASS, INTERNET. Get yourself some!
4. I took the kids to the library on Monday. Emma was in the bathroom (lately, she's had to pee at every public bathroom. WTF? I think she just likes to check out the amenities). So, I was loitering outside the bathroom when I noticed a display of Lois Duncan books - these young adult horror mysteries that I was totally crazy about when I was around 10. I checked them all out, and have read three so far. They all follow the same plot - plucky yet responsible teen girl realizes something is seriously, supernaturally wrong. No one believes her, but she still saves the day. I think I'm going to feel a lot like the heroine in the next six weeks. It terrifies - yet amazes - me that so many people are aware of just how incredibly fucked up McCain and Palin are, and yet are still going to vote for them, because you know, it just doesn't seem all that fucked up to them. Our news reported that "only" 33% of the nation believe that Palin is qualified to run the country. Imagine it - one out of every three people think she'd be okay. Huh. I looked at a picture of Australia today, and thought ALOT about french fries. I'm qualified to run the country!
5. We have these little heaters in our walls that basically run like blowdryers. I love the way they smell.
6. Why do I have such fondness for hair band power ballads? Why?
2. Microwaved potatoes. Baked potatoes should be, you know, baked. However, I grudgingly LOVE them when they're so over-nuked that they're crunchy.
3. Monistat makes an anti-chafing gel. I read that you can use it on your face as a pore minimizer thing, which in the moment, seemed totally rational. How innovative! So I bought some. And then I was too grossed out to actually apply the crap to my face. But I have these really cute orange Maryjanes that totally KILL my feet - blister, rubbed spots, you've got the picture. So I tried the gel on my feet. IT KICKS ASS, INTERNET. Get yourself some!
4. I took the kids to the library on Monday. Emma was in the bathroom (lately, she's had to pee at every public bathroom. WTF? I think she just likes to check out the amenities). So, I was loitering outside the bathroom when I noticed a display of Lois Duncan books - these young adult horror mysteries that I was totally crazy about when I was around 10. I checked them all out, and have read three so far. They all follow the same plot - plucky yet responsible teen girl realizes something is seriously, supernaturally wrong. No one believes her, but she still saves the day. I think I'm going to feel a lot like the heroine in the next six weeks. It terrifies - yet amazes - me that so many people are aware of just how incredibly fucked up McCain and Palin are, and yet are still going to vote for them, because you know, it just doesn't seem all that fucked up to them. Our news reported that "only" 33% of the nation believe that Palin is qualified to run the country. Imagine it - one out of every three people think she'd be okay. Huh. I looked at a picture of Australia today, and thought ALOT about french fries. I'm qualified to run the country!
5. We have these little heaters in our walls that basically run like blowdryers. I love the way they smell.
6. Why do I have such fondness for hair band power ballads? Why?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Can't Say It Better, Part 2 OR I Love You, Tim Wise!
This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise / September 13, 2008
For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.
White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.
White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.
White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.
White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”
White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.
White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.
White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.
White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.
White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”
White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.
White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.
White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.
White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden.
And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…
White privilege is, in short, the problem.
Tim Wise is the author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son, and Affirmative Action: Racial Preference in Black and White. He has contributed essays to seventeen books, and is one of several persons featured in White Men Challenging Racism: Thirty-Five Personal Stories, from Duke University Press. A collection of his essays, Speaking Treason Fluently: Anti-Racist Reflections From an Angry White Male, will be released in fall 2008.
By Tim Wise / September 13, 2008
For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.
White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.
White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.
White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.
White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”
White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.
White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.
White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.
White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.
White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”
White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.
White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.
White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.
White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden.
And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…
White privilege is, in short, the problem.
Tim Wise is the author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son, and Affirmative Action: Racial Preference in Black and White. He has contributed essays to seventeen books, and is one of several persons featured in White Men Challenging Racism: Thirty-Five Personal Stories, from Duke University Press. A collection of his essays, Speaking Treason Fluently: Anti-Racist Reflections From an Angry White Male, will be released in fall 2008.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
No F-ing Way, Kid
Emma and Abby have been battling it out all afternoon. After breaking up the third brawl, I told them they have to be kind to each other since they're each other's only sister. Emma replied, "You're still young. You can have another baby!"
I Can't Say It Any Better
From Kathleen Reardon, published in the Huffington Post:
From Gloria Steinem's Op-Ed piece in the LA Times:
* * * * *
Did you watch the Charlie Gibson interview with Palin? I know everyone's all agog that she couldn't define the Bush Doctrine, that she called this war "God's plan" in her church, that she can't define her international experience beyond being able to see Russia from an Alaskan island.
Here's the quote that gets me, though:
It's exactly that patriarchal, Father Knows Best approach to international relations that frightens me. What are they going to do, ground Iran? Maybe not let it go to the prom, although it's already reserved this really rad party limo? "We do not have to stand for that"?
Don't misunderstand me - it scares the crap out of me that nuclear weapons are an option for so many countries and factions. I worry about my kids' safety, and am shocked about how quickly my perception of our safety has changed. During the Clinton era, I felt like we were generally OK. Now, I feel like the USA is the sandbox bully that the rest of the kids are planning against.
The nuclear argument smacks of hypocrisy, since we have a shit ton of nuclear arms. We were the first, we have the second highest quantity, and we remain the only country to have actually used them.
I firmly believe that most Heads of State are reasonable people who feel tremendous patriotism towards their country. Yes, there are despots. Yes, there are people who abuse their power (I'm looking at you, W). They are sometimes misguided and almost always fallible. The USA is not their parent or even their babysitter - we are their neighbor. We need to take some lessons in what it means to be a good neighbor.
I define myself as a radical feminist. I believe that Obama will defend the issues that affect women staunchly and without apology. In Glamour*, he states that insurance coverage for birth control is a "no-brainer." He supports education, gun control, health care, equal pay for equal work. I believe that he is thoughtful and introspective. He WILL blink before making big decisions. (Can I tell you how disturbed I am that Sarah Palin defines her readiness to be Vice President by her ability to make big decisions without pausing to blink? Have you ever been in disaster preparedness training? One of the biggest things you'll learn is to CALM THE FUCK DOWN and make deliberate decisions. Argh! Not blinking is NOT a good thing!)
I believe that defending all the social justice issues, including reproductive choice, accessible health care, equal pay and gun control are super important. However, I believe that the most important task the new President will have is to redefine our international image and start to repair our relationships with other countries. We've acted like loud, obnoxious idiots for the past seven years. (Aside: remember those innocent pre-9/11 days when our biggest complaint against Bush was that he was on vacation more than he was at work?)
*Yes. That Glamour. Let's face it: more people are going to read Glamour and People articles than the Huffington Post. It's important to read what the candidates are saying to people who don't consider themselves politicos. And to find out Fall trends in eyeliner. I am nothing if not shallow. Although let me go on record: I am OPPOSED to the new "brights". Teal eyeliner is not okay unless you're in a cabaret. Repeat this to yourself often.
With all this talk about Sarah Palin redefining feminism and people who don't support her candidacy being sexist, I think we could use a little clarification.
Women's progress at work and in government is critically important. We are not, after all, living in the Dark Ages. But, and this is a VERY IMPORTANT BUT, consider the following scenario.
You're about to board a plane and a flight attendant says, "Today as part of our responsiveness to customers program you may choose Mr. Jones here as co-pilot. He will fly the airplane should something go wrong with the pilot, who isn't at his best today. Mr. Jones has been a pilot for twenty years and has an impeccable record. He is, however, a man. Because you support the advancement of women in the workplace, we also have a woman here who is willing to fly your plane. She is not a pilot but she didn't blink when asked to do this and for the past week a team of experts has been talking to her a lot about how to fly."
Who would you choose? If you chose Pilot Jones, would that be sexist? Or would you simply not be a complete idiot?
From Gloria Steinem's Op-Ed piece in the LA Times:
This isn't the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie.
Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmeticize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate who is owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton's candidacy stood for -- and that Barack Obama's still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, "Somebody stole my shoes, so I'll amputate my legs."
This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can't do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn't say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Sen. Joe Biden's 37 years' experience. . . .
So let's be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can't tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.
Palin's value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women's wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves "abstinence-only" programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers' millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn't spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.
* * * * *
Did you watch the Charlie Gibson interview with Palin? I know everyone's all agog that she couldn't define the Bush Doctrine, that she called this war "God's plan" in her church, that she can't define her international experience beyond being able to see Russia from an Alaskan island.
Here's the quote that gets me, though:
GIBSON: But, Governor, we've threatened greater sanctions against Iran for a long time. It hasn't done any good. It hasn't stemmed their nuclear program.
PALIN: We need to pursue those and we need to implement those. We cannot back off. We cannot just concede that, oh, gee, maybe they're going to have nuclear weapons, what can we do about it. No way, not Americans. We do not have to stand for that.
It's exactly that patriarchal, Father Knows Best approach to international relations that frightens me. What are they going to do, ground Iran? Maybe not let it go to the prom, although it's already reserved this really rad party limo? "We do not have to stand for that"?
Don't misunderstand me - it scares the crap out of me that nuclear weapons are an option for so many countries and factions. I worry about my kids' safety, and am shocked about how quickly my perception of our safety has changed. During the Clinton era, I felt like we were generally OK. Now, I feel like the USA is the sandbox bully that the rest of the kids are planning against.
The nuclear argument smacks of hypocrisy, since we have a shit ton of nuclear arms. We were the first, we have the second highest quantity, and we remain the only country to have actually used them.
I firmly believe that most Heads of State are reasonable people who feel tremendous patriotism towards their country. Yes, there are despots. Yes, there are people who abuse their power (I'm looking at you, W). They are sometimes misguided and almost always fallible. The USA is not their parent or even their babysitter - we are their neighbor. We need to take some lessons in what it means to be a good neighbor.
I define myself as a radical feminist. I believe that Obama will defend the issues that affect women staunchly and without apology. In Glamour*, he states that insurance coverage for birth control is a "no-brainer." He supports education, gun control, health care, equal pay for equal work. I believe that he is thoughtful and introspective. He WILL blink before making big decisions. (Can I tell you how disturbed I am that Sarah Palin defines her readiness to be Vice President by her ability to make big decisions without pausing to blink? Have you ever been in disaster preparedness training? One of the biggest things you'll learn is to CALM THE FUCK DOWN and make deliberate decisions. Argh! Not blinking is NOT a good thing!)
I believe that defending all the social justice issues, including reproductive choice, accessible health care, equal pay and gun control are super important. However, I believe that the most important task the new President will have is to redefine our international image and start to repair our relationships with other countries. We've acted like loud, obnoxious idiots for the past seven years. (Aside: remember those innocent pre-9/11 days when our biggest complaint against Bush was that he was on vacation more than he was at work?)
*Yes. That Glamour. Let's face it: more people are going to read Glamour and People articles than the Huffington Post. It's important to read what the candidates are saying to people who don't consider themselves politicos. And to find out Fall trends in eyeliner. I am nothing if not shallow. Although let me go on record: I am OPPOSED to the new "brights". Teal eyeliner is not okay unless you're in a cabaret. Repeat this to yourself often.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
So Pissed
I am so pissed at the spin being pushed about Palin's infant right now. I can't tell you how many times I've heard pundits give her credit for not aborting him because he has Down's. As though Down's is such a horrific defect that she's somehow a saint. I am so offended - for people with Down's, for simplifying abortion, for making a live baby seem like a burden to these people. I am offended for Sarah Palin - if anyone ever spoke about one of my children the way her "supporters" talk about her baby, I would be furious.
I am staunchly pro-choice, and feel like it's none of my business why any woman would have an abortion. I am staunchly pro-family, and believe that no woman should have to have a baby before she is ready (whatever that means). Emotionally, carrying babies and giving birth was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I do not wish it on anyone who does not want it.
I am also an infertile mother whose children are the biggest gifts I've ever received. I am appalled that a wanted child can be seen as anything other than a gift.
I am staunchly pro-choice, and feel like it's none of my business why any woman would have an abortion. I am staunchly pro-family, and believe that no woman should have to have a baby before she is ready (whatever that means). Emotionally, carrying babies and giving birth was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I do not wish it on anyone who does not want it.
I am also an infertile mother whose children are the biggest gifts I've ever received. I am appalled that a wanted child can be seen as anything other than a gift.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Having Trouble Falling Asleep? Read This.
Long time, no post! Until yesterday, I had worked everyday since August 4. You know how most of the world goes on vacation in August? No one who works in education does. Next time you scamper into the drugstore to pick up some more sunscreen on your way to the beach, please offer sympathy to the pallid teacher stocking up on glitter pencils the Back-to-School aisle.
At one point, I had to go to Costco to get refreshments for all our welcome meetings and parties. I hate Costco. I always food shop at the farmer's market, Whole Foods, and a local Whole Foods-esque store. I have to say, as much as I hate Costco, it was intensely freeing to push a cart overflowing with chips and candy without feeling the judgmental eyes of other shoppers. I could have thrown a couple of cartons of Marlboros in the cart, and no one would've batted an eye.
We also moved! We moved into this cute little cottage. I LOVE it. The neighborhood uses our yard as a cut-through, so when the cats escaped this morning, they were chased by an eager poodle. It was pretty awesome to look out the window, see the cats smugly sniffing the air, and then see them frantically haul ass back inside as the dog rounded the corner into our yard. I've never seen a poodle look so vicious. That'll teach them to take advantage of a not-quite-secure screen door.
Are you bored yet? Me too. Not much has been happening, though. Sorry. You might want to just skip this whole post. I won't be offended.
Emma started second grade. She's so over us. She had been complaining that I was working too much, so I left work early to pick her up and hang out at the beach. She totally ditched me to go to a friend's house.
Abby is super jealous about Emma going to school. I tried to soften the blow by explaining that while Emma's at school, she can use all the toys without having to share with Emma - she can even play with Troy and Kellydog, who Emma's pretty tyrannical about. Abby's eyes got wide and she explained that Emma can always see her, and she's watching her while she's in school. Every breath you take, indeed.
I met a dog named Buddha. Am I the only one who's offended?
Talking about offended, how about Sara Palin? Did she win the VP spot by guessing the correct number of jellybeans in the jar at the Republican Christmas party? I am so offended that I'm supposed to like her just because we both have vaginas. Do they think women are really that stupid? Ugh.
Why does spell check flag vaginas? It's not like I wrote "va-jay-jay." In fact, spell check only thinks the "va" part of va-jay-jay is wrong. Let me tell you, it is ALL WRONG.
I promise not to write again until I've actually got something to say! Just so This hasn't been a complete waste of time for you, here's my favorite websites this week:
http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/ Want to know how much your town has donated to candidates? Which party Halliburton employees donate more money to? This is the site for you. I can waste so much time here.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ Just click. You won't be disappointed.
At one point, I had to go to Costco to get refreshments for all our welcome meetings and parties. I hate Costco. I always food shop at the farmer's market, Whole Foods, and a local Whole Foods-esque store. I have to say, as much as I hate Costco, it was intensely freeing to push a cart overflowing with chips and candy without feeling the judgmental eyes of other shoppers. I could have thrown a couple of cartons of Marlboros in the cart, and no one would've batted an eye.
We also moved! We moved into this cute little cottage. I LOVE it. The neighborhood uses our yard as a cut-through, so when the cats escaped this morning, they were chased by an eager poodle. It was pretty awesome to look out the window, see the cats smugly sniffing the air, and then see them frantically haul ass back inside as the dog rounded the corner into our yard. I've never seen a poodle look so vicious. That'll teach them to take advantage of a not-quite-secure screen door.
Are you bored yet? Me too. Not much has been happening, though. Sorry. You might want to just skip this whole post. I won't be offended.
Emma started second grade. She's so over us. She had been complaining that I was working too much, so I left work early to pick her up and hang out at the beach. She totally ditched me to go to a friend's house.
Abby is super jealous about Emma going to school. I tried to soften the blow by explaining that while Emma's at school, she can use all the toys without having to share with Emma - she can even play with Troy and Kellydog, who Emma's pretty tyrannical about. Abby's eyes got wide and she explained that Emma can always see her, and she's watching her while she's in school. Every breath you take, indeed.
I met a dog named Buddha. Am I the only one who's offended?
Talking about offended, how about Sara Palin? Did she win the VP spot by guessing the correct number of jellybeans in the jar at the Republican Christmas party? I am so offended that I'm supposed to like her just because we both have vaginas. Do they think women are really that stupid? Ugh.
Why does spell check flag vaginas? It's not like I wrote "va-jay-jay." In fact, spell check only thinks the "va" part of va-jay-jay is wrong. Let me tell you, it is ALL WRONG.
I promise not to write again until I've actually got something to say! Just so This hasn't been a complete waste of time for you, here's my favorite websites this week:
http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/ Want to know how much your town has donated to candidates? Which party Halliburton employees donate more money to? This is the site for you. I can waste so much time here.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ Just click. You won't be disappointed.
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