There's a banner ad for degrees.info that says "how do i become......" and then has all these cartoon people with job titles under them. Strangely, they are all doing yoga poses. "Yoga instructor" is not an option - it leans more towards medical transcription and billing.
I am deeply confused. What does it mean? Will i be more relaxed once i have a career path? Should i do yoga before clicking the ad? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
Who designed the ad? What were they thinking? Don't they know that every little part of your ad needs to relate back to what you're selling?
Where's the beef?
Mikey likes it!
Those stupid Budweiser frogs.
The Oscar Meyer song.
I'd understand the yoga in a laxative ad. But medical transcription? Auto body tech?
I just don't get it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
When Hope and Fear Collide
Well. Long time, no post, huh? I don't really know why I haven't written anything - I just got a little scattered there. But now Abby's running around singing Joan Jett's Bad Reputation, Emma's making masks, and Leo's off kayaking, and I feel a rant coming on.
When I was in grad school, we had to read When Hope and Fear Collide. I wasn't super impressed, but I've always loved the title. It completely defines how I feel about the election.
I was totally psyched to watch Obama get elected. You go, Ohio, with your blue stateness! I watched his acceptance speech with about 50 students - we were crying and cheering. I am so proud. That's it. I had been white knuckling it for weeks, worried about how important racism is to our country. But hope won over fear.
But this election sucked. Thanks a lot, California. I am so ashamed of my state for Prop 8. We've been marching and sending letters and everything, but I was completely blindsided by the level of hate in this state. There's been a lot of great commentary on Prop 8 already - check out Keith Olbermann and Prop 8: The Musical - so I'm not going to blah blah blah too much. I just want to urge everyone to not let up the pressure - let's march on Washington. Boycott businesses that support bigotry. Just as importantly, support businesses that promote equality. We live in a country that values money and power over all - let's use ours to apply some pressure.
And wow, speaking of money, we really fucked ourselves over, huh? When we lived in Santa Cruz, we were approved for a $500,000 mortgage and told by the bank that if we asked for more, we could get an additional $200-300,000. A big, national bank approved us - it wasn't Bob's Mortgage and Tires. I remember flipping out on the lender, because we wouldn't EVER have been able to afford the monthly payment - it was more than we were earning. I asked him how he could sleep at night, knowing he was ruining families. He just laughed and said it wasn't bad - that I'd just sell that house at a profit, have more capital for the next house, and just keep buying and selling until I had made enough sales to actually afford a house. This was his PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. Ugh.
On a happier note, we had a great holiday! Instead of presents, we try to give each other experiences. We've given museum memberships, days at the boardwalk, movie trips, etc. For my birthday, Leo took me to Chez Panisse. This Christmas, we gifted our family a road trip. We went all over Oregon - hung out in Portland, visited friends, slept in yurts on the coast, played in snow, explored tidepools, went to museums and national forests and the aquarium. It was so awesome just to be together for over a week with no obligations, no plans, and an open map.
So, I promise to write more frequently. I've been planning my Bush retrospective for a while now!
When I was in grad school, we had to read When Hope and Fear Collide. I wasn't super impressed, but I've always loved the title. It completely defines how I feel about the election.
I was totally psyched to watch Obama get elected. You go, Ohio, with your blue stateness! I watched his acceptance speech with about 50 students - we were crying and cheering. I am so proud. That's it. I had been white knuckling it for weeks, worried about how important racism is to our country. But hope won over fear.
But this election sucked. Thanks a lot, California. I am so ashamed of my state for Prop 8. We've been marching and sending letters and everything, but I was completely blindsided by the level of hate in this state. There's been a lot of great commentary on Prop 8 already - check out Keith Olbermann and Prop 8: The Musical - so I'm not going to blah blah blah too much. I just want to urge everyone to not let up the pressure - let's march on Washington. Boycott businesses that support bigotry. Just as importantly, support businesses that promote equality. We live in a country that values money and power over all - let's use ours to apply some pressure.
And wow, speaking of money, we really fucked ourselves over, huh? When we lived in Santa Cruz, we were approved for a $500,000 mortgage and told by the bank that if we asked for more, we could get an additional $200-300,000. A big, national bank approved us - it wasn't Bob's Mortgage and Tires. I remember flipping out on the lender, because we wouldn't EVER have been able to afford the monthly payment - it was more than we were earning. I asked him how he could sleep at night, knowing he was ruining families. He just laughed and said it wasn't bad - that I'd just sell that house at a profit, have more capital for the next house, and just keep buying and selling until I had made enough sales to actually afford a house. This was his PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. Ugh.
On a happier note, we had a great holiday! Instead of presents, we try to give each other experiences. We've given museum memberships, days at the boardwalk, movie trips, etc. For my birthday, Leo took me to Chez Panisse. This Christmas, we gifted our family a road trip. We went all over Oregon - hung out in Portland, visited friends, slept in yurts on the coast, played in snow, explored tidepools, went to museums and national forests and the aquarium. It was so awesome just to be together for over a week with no obligations, no plans, and an open map.
So, I promise to write more frequently. I've been planning my Bush retrospective for a while now!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Anonymous Love
So, I got the funniest comment ever on my last post:
"Wake up looking like Cat Woman, or at least Cindy McCain!"
Oh, Anonymous, I love you and your snarky humor!
"Wake up looking like Cat Woman, or at least Cindy McCain!"
Oh, Anonymous, I love you and your snarky humor!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The "Jackassery" of the Right
I've been firmly rubbing my forehead to remind myself to stop furrowing it whenever John McCain or Sarah Palin open their fucking mouths.
I just cannot get over the tone of this clip. McCain's just so blase about his disdain for women's health. Ugh. The air quotes seriously required me to WALK AWAY from the TV. Seriously, women don't get late term abortions because they're inconvenienced, or uncomfortable, or because their feet are too swollen. They get them because THEY WILL DIE if they continue to carry the fetus that they probably LOVE and WANT. It is a shitty, horrible, hellish decision to make - how dare that idiot air-quote health???
Look, I know that there are lots of reasonable, loving people on both sides of the abortion debate. But the air quotes just highlighted just how ANTI-LIFE McCain actually is - whose lives, anyway?
In October 2007, he voted for legislation that would cut Health and Human Services grants to organizations that perform abortions. You know, the ones that provide low cost health care - not just abortion - to millions of uninsured women.
He has voted to require parental consent for teenagers who want access to contraceptives.
He voted against an amendment that would have allocated $100 million for the prevention of teen pregnancy by providing education and contraceptives.
He opposed legislation requiring that abstinence-only programs be medically accurate and based in science.
He voted to abolish funding for birth control and gynecological care for low-income women, and against funding for public education on emergency contraception.
He also voted against a measure that would require insurance companies to cover prescription contraception.
In April, he skipped the vote on the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. He's stated that he was against the act because there'd be too many lawsuits against employers.
In 1993, before voting in favor of the Family and Medical Leave Act, he proposed allowing the government to suspend the law if it found that the act would increase the cost to business.
He voted with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s positions only 7 percent of the time.
McCain voted at least six times to reduce, eliminate or restrict health insurance programs for low-income children and pregnant women.
In August 2007, he again voted against a bill to expand coverage of SCHIP (healthcare for low income children).
In 2000, he voted against providing tax credits to small businesses that offer health insurance.
He voted against a $3,000 tax credit to help seniors and their families cover long-term care.
He has voted seven times for measures that cut or restricted funding for Medicaid, and 18 times for measures that cut or restricted Medicare.
This year, he suggested that increasing cigarette sales to Iran would be "a way of killing 'em."
At a 1998 Republican Senate fundraiser, McCain proffered this “joke”: “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” Answer: “Because her father is Janet Reno.”
If these are the jokes he tells in public, what are his naughty jokes? Here's another public McCain knee slapper: "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"
And another: "The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
As for his running mate, she's made rape survivors pay for their rape kit, opposes abortion, and has shot wolves from a helicopter. After Obama won the nomination, she reportedly said, "So Sambo beat the bitch!"
It never ceases to amaze me that people are so willing to believe in his "compassionate courage" bullshit. Where is the compassion? If he were truly pro-LIFE, he'd support some bills that educate, that provide healthcare, that support children and families. Until he does that, he can cram his "moral" courage up his ass.
I started this post with the forehead rub, because I was going to write a quick little paragraph about the air quotes felt on every uterus, and then write about how I've been freaking out a bit about aging, and how I found an eye cream that actually works and reduces wrinkles, and how I'm worried that it works, because I think this is how all that creepy "enhancement" stuff that women do to stave off aging starts. No one plans for a full facelift, but you find a good eye cream, and then if the eye cream makes you look better, won't Botox still be subtle and good? Or a little brow lift? And then one day you wake up looking like the Cat Woman.
http://minhanoticia.ig.com.br/upload/20080225/25112237.jpg
I just cannot get over the tone of this clip. McCain's just so blase about his disdain for women's health. Ugh. The air quotes seriously required me to WALK AWAY from the TV. Seriously, women don't get late term abortions because they're inconvenienced, or uncomfortable, or because their feet are too swollen. They get them because THEY WILL DIE if they continue to carry the fetus that they probably LOVE and WANT. It is a shitty, horrible, hellish decision to make - how dare that idiot air-quote health???
Look, I know that there are lots of reasonable, loving people on both sides of the abortion debate. But the air quotes just highlighted just how ANTI-LIFE McCain actually is - whose lives, anyway?
In October 2007, he voted for legislation that would cut Health and Human Services grants to organizations that perform abortions. You know, the ones that provide low cost health care - not just abortion - to millions of uninsured women.
He has voted to require parental consent for teenagers who want access to contraceptives.
He voted against an amendment that would have allocated $100 million for the prevention of teen pregnancy by providing education and contraceptives.
He opposed legislation requiring that abstinence-only programs be medically accurate and based in science.
He voted to abolish funding for birth control and gynecological care for low-income women, and against funding for public education on emergency contraception.
He also voted against a measure that would require insurance companies to cover prescription contraception.
In April, he skipped the vote on the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. He's stated that he was against the act because there'd be too many lawsuits against employers.
In 1993, before voting in favor of the Family and Medical Leave Act, he proposed allowing the government to suspend the law if it found that the act would increase the cost to business.
He voted with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s positions only 7 percent of the time.
McCain voted at least six times to reduce, eliminate or restrict health insurance programs for low-income children and pregnant women.
In August 2007, he again voted against a bill to expand coverage of SCHIP (healthcare for low income children).
In 2000, he voted against providing tax credits to small businesses that offer health insurance.
He voted against a $3,000 tax credit to help seniors and their families cover long-term care.
He has voted seven times for measures that cut or restricted funding for Medicaid, and 18 times for measures that cut or restricted Medicare.
This year, he suggested that increasing cigarette sales to Iran would be "a way of killing 'em."
At a 1998 Republican Senate fundraiser, McCain proffered this “joke”: “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” Answer: “Because her father is Janet Reno.”
If these are the jokes he tells in public, what are his naughty jokes? Here's another public McCain knee slapper: "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"
And another: "The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
As for his running mate, she's made rape survivors pay for their rape kit, opposes abortion, and has shot wolves from a helicopter. After Obama won the nomination, she reportedly said, "So Sambo beat the bitch!"
It never ceases to amaze me that people are so willing to believe in his "compassionate courage" bullshit. Where is the compassion? If he were truly pro-LIFE, he'd support some bills that educate, that provide healthcare, that support children and families. Until he does that, he can cram his "moral" courage up his ass.
I started this post with the forehead rub, because I was going to write a quick little paragraph about the air quotes felt on every uterus, and then write about how I've been freaking out a bit about aging, and how I found an eye cream that actually works and reduces wrinkles, and how I'm worried that it works, because I think this is how all that creepy "enhancement" stuff that women do to stave off aging starts. No one plans for a full facelift, but you find a good eye cream, and then if the eye cream makes you look better, won't Botox still be subtle and good? Or a little brow lift? And then one day you wake up looking like the Cat Woman.
http://minhanoticia.ig.com.br/upload/20080225/25112237.jpg
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Spin Cycle
I come from a blue class, largely uneducated family. I am the first person to go to college. Leo's family is very similar, although he grew up in towns with a higher socioeconomic reputation, so he was exposed to more people with college degrees.
I am certainly not saying that college educated people are somehow better or smarter - believe me, I have worked with plenty of "educated idiots." I have also known a lot of blue collar people who are smarter than I will ever be.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've had several conversations with our parents and people my parents' age, and I am concerned - very concerned - about how they'll vote. I've been shocked multiple times at the way race and perceived elitism impacts middle aged Americans. I'm reminded that the racial divide was HUGE when they were growing up. And that their concern and defensiveness about the loss of their jobs and their sense of worth creates a wall of hostility about the educated elite.
Also, I think McCain and Palin did really well in the debates. I do. Biden and Obama gave really nuanced, thoughtful, quiet answers. Palin gave a loud, rootin' tootin', sound bite filled performance. The WINK!!! (Don't worry, I'll leave the rant about how winking in a job interview is totally unacceptable out of this post). McCain was on the offensive and planted a lot of fear-based ideas. Ugh.
Luckily for me, my family are die hard Democrats, so it looks like Thanksgiving will be safe. However, if you find yourself debating the candidates, STICK TO QUICK, CLEAR SOUND BITES. A thoughtful response isn't as helpful. Here's a few to get you started:
1. Elite is owning 11 houses - many of them mansions.
2. Elite is having your Admiral dad get you a job.
3. Elite is spending over $200,000 on household staff last year.
2. Health insurance costs about $12000 a year. $5000 won't even cover HALF.
3. Barak Obama doesn't care if you want to shoot deer. I'd advise against hunting with McCain.
4. Being a war hero does not make you a good President. It's a different skill set.
4a. I would certainly argue that he was NOT a war hero. He was an incompetent pilot that crashed three planes before going to Viet Nam. Once captured, he traded information for medical care. Once his captors realized who his father was, he got even better medical care. In all, he had about 20 HOURS in combat before he was captured. Since then, he's received 28 medals for his service. Don't let him guilt you into voting for him. Think about all the other un-Fortunate Sons who served with him, who evaded capture - or when captured, didn't collude - who never received ANY medals or praise or "hero" status.
5. Calling your wife a cunt - the year Backlash came out! - is crude and icky.
6. Singing "Bomb Iran" to "Barbara Ann" is tasteless.
7. Voting with Bush is not maverick-ish. Hell, calling yourself a Maverick makes you less of a Maverick. It's like yelling, "Hey, I'm cool!" If you have to tell people you are something, you are probably not.
8. His use of race baiting in the campaign is unprofessional.
If you need more:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95591135
I am certainly not saying that college educated people are somehow better or smarter - believe me, I have worked with plenty of "educated idiots." I have also known a lot of blue collar people who are smarter than I will ever be.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've had several conversations with our parents and people my parents' age, and I am concerned - very concerned - about how they'll vote. I've been shocked multiple times at the way race and perceived elitism impacts middle aged Americans. I'm reminded that the racial divide was HUGE when they were growing up. And that their concern and defensiveness about the loss of their jobs and their sense of worth creates a wall of hostility about the educated elite.
Also, I think McCain and Palin did really well in the debates. I do. Biden and Obama gave really nuanced, thoughtful, quiet answers. Palin gave a loud, rootin' tootin', sound bite filled performance. The WINK!!! (Don't worry, I'll leave the rant about how winking in a job interview is totally unacceptable out of this post). McCain was on the offensive and planted a lot of fear-based ideas. Ugh.
Luckily for me, my family are die hard Democrats, so it looks like Thanksgiving will be safe. However, if you find yourself debating the candidates, STICK TO QUICK, CLEAR SOUND BITES. A thoughtful response isn't as helpful. Here's a few to get you started:
1. Elite is owning 11 houses - many of them mansions.
2. Elite is having your Admiral dad get you a job.
3. Elite is spending over $200,000 on household staff last year.
2. Health insurance costs about $12000 a year. $5000 won't even cover HALF.
3. Barak Obama doesn't care if you want to shoot deer. I'd advise against hunting with McCain.
4. Being a war hero does not make you a good President. It's a different skill set.
4a. I would certainly argue that he was NOT a war hero. He was an incompetent pilot that crashed three planes before going to Viet Nam. Once captured, he traded information for medical care. Once his captors realized who his father was, he got even better medical care. In all, he had about 20 HOURS in combat before he was captured. Since then, he's received 28 medals for his service. Don't let him guilt you into voting for him. Think about all the other un-Fortunate Sons who served with him, who evaded capture - or when captured, didn't collude - who never received ANY medals or praise or "hero" status.
5. Calling your wife a cunt - the year Backlash came out! - is crude and icky.
6. Singing "Bomb Iran" to "Barbara Ann" is tasteless.
7. Voting with Bush is not maverick-ish. Hell, calling yourself a Maverick makes you less of a Maverick. It's like yelling, "Hey, I'm cool!" If you have to tell people you are something, you are probably not.
8. His use of race baiting in the campaign is unprofessional.
If you need more:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95591135
Friday, September 19, 2008
At Least It Wasn't Regurgitation
Abby has been learning how letters form words. This morning I asked her if she'd like to learn to write a word. She replied, "Sure! YES!!", so I asked what word she'd like to learn.
"Hairless cat!"
Oh. Okay.
So now my four year old, who does not know how to spell ball or run or Spot, can spell HAIRLESS CAT.
"Hairless cat!"
Oh. Okay.
So now my four year old, who does not know how to spell ball or run or Spot, can spell HAIRLESS CAT.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Things That Simultaneously Fascinate and Gross Me Out
1. The sexy M&M. The tagline should be "Eat me!" I am horrified. She's saying, "Hey, fuck me! And then devour me! Yum!"
2. Microwaved potatoes. Baked potatoes should be, you know, baked. However, I grudgingly LOVE them when they're so over-nuked that they're crunchy.
3. Monistat makes an anti-chafing gel. I read that you can use it on your face as a pore minimizer thing, which in the moment, seemed totally rational. How innovative! So I bought some. And then I was too grossed out to actually apply the crap to my face. But I have these really cute orange Maryjanes that totally KILL my feet - blister, rubbed spots, you've got the picture. So I tried the gel on my feet. IT KICKS ASS, INTERNET. Get yourself some!
4. I took the kids to the library on Monday. Emma was in the bathroom (lately, she's had to pee at every public bathroom. WTF? I think she just likes to check out the amenities). So, I was loitering outside the bathroom when I noticed a display of Lois Duncan books - these young adult horror mysteries that I was totally crazy about when I was around 10. I checked them all out, and have read three so far. They all follow the same plot - plucky yet responsible teen girl realizes something is seriously, supernaturally wrong. No one believes her, but she still saves the day. I think I'm going to feel a lot like the heroine in the next six weeks. It terrifies - yet amazes - me that so many people are aware of just how incredibly fucked up McCain and Palin are, and yet are still going to vote for them, because you know, it just doesn't seem all that fucked up to them. Our news reported that "only" 33% of the nation believe that Palin is qualified to run the country. Imagine it - one out of every three people think she'd be okay. Huh. I looked at a picture of Australia today, and thought ALOT about french fries. I'm qualified to run the country!
5. We have these little heaters in our walls that basically run like blowdryers. I love the way they smell.
6. Why do I have such fondness for hair band power ballads? Why?
2. Microwaved potatoes. Baked potatoes should be, you know, baked. However, I grudgingly LOVE them when they're so over-nuked that they're crunchy.
3. Monistat makes an anti-chafing gel. I read that you can use it on your face as a pore minimizer thing, which in the moment, seemed totally rational. How innovative! So I bought some. And then I was too grossed out to actually apply the crap to my face. But I have these really cute orange Maryjanes that totally KILL my feet - blister, rubbed spots, you've got the picture. So I tried the gel on my feet. IT KICKS ASS, INTERNET. Get yourself some!
4. I took the kids to the library on Monday. Emma was in the bathroom (lately, she's had to pee at every public bathroom. WTF? I think she just likes to check out the amenities). So, I was loitering outside the bathroom when I noticed a display of Lois Duncan books - these young adult horror mysteries that I was totally crazy about when I was around 10. I checked them all out, and have read three so far. They all follow the same plot - plucky yet responsible teen girl realizes something is seriously, supernaturally wrong. No one believes her, but she still saves the day. I think I'm going to feel a lot like the heroine in the next six weeks. It terrifies - yet amazes - me that so many people are aware of just how incredibly fucked up McCain and Palin are, and yet are still going to vote for them, because you know, it just doesn't seem all that fucked up to them. Our news reported that "only" 33% of the nation believe that Palin is qualified to run the country. Imagine it - one out of every three people think she'd be okay. Huh. I looked at a picture of Australia today, and thought ALOT about french fries. I'm qualified to run the country!
5. We have these little heaters in our walls that basically run like blowdryers. I love the way they smell.
6. Why do I have such fondness for hair band power ballads? Why?
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