Having Trouble Falling Asleep? Read This.

Long time, no post! Until yesterday, I had worked everyday since August 4. You know how most of the world goes on vacation in August? No one who works in education does. Next time you scamper into the drugstore to pick up some more sunscreen on your way to the beach, please offer sympathy to the pallid teacher stocking up on glitter pencils the Back-to-School aisle.

At one point, I had to go to Costco to get refreshments for all our welcome meetings and parties. I hate Costco. I always food shop at the farmer's market, Whole Foods, and a local Whole Foods-esque store. I have to say, as much as I hate Costco, it was intensely freeing to push a cart overflowing with chips and candy without feeling the judgmental eyes of other shoppers. I could have thrown a couple of cartons of Marlboros in the cart, and no one would've batted an eye.

We also moved! We moved into this cute little cottage. I LOVE it. The neighborhood uses our yard as a cut-through, so when the cats escaped this morning, they were chased by an eager poodle. It was pretty awesome to look out the window, see the cats smugly sniffing the air, and then see them frantically haul ass back inside as the dog rounded the corner into our yard. I've never seen a poodle look so vicious. That'll teach them to take advantage of a not-quite-secure screen door.

Are you bored yet? Me too. Not much has been happening, though. Sorry. You might want to just skip this whole post. I won't be offended.

Emma started second grade. She's so over us. She had been complaining that I was working too much, so I left work early to pick her up and hang out at the beach. She totally ditched me to go to a friend's house.

Abby is super jealous about Emma going to school. I tried to soften the blow by explaining that while Emma's at school, she can use all the toys without having to share with Emma - she can even play with Troy and Kellydog, who Emma's pretty tyrannical about. Abby's eyes got wide and she explained that Emma can always see her, and she's watching her while she's in school. Every breath you take, indeed.

I met a dog named Buddha. Am I the only one who's offended?

Talking about offended, how about Sara Palin? Did she win the VP spot by guessing the correct number of jellybeans in the jar at the Republican Christmas party? I am so offended that I'm supposed to like her just because we both have vaginas. Do they think women are really that stupid? Ugh.

Why does spell check flag vaginas? It's not like I wrote "va-jay-jay." In fact, spell check only thinks the "va" part of va-jay-jay is wrong. Let me tell you, it is ALL WRONG.

I promise not to write again until I've actually got something to say! Just so This hasn't been a complete waste of time for you, here's my favorite websites this week:

http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/ Want to know how much your town has donated to candidates? Which party Halliburton employees donate more money to? This is the site for you. I can waste so much time here.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ Just click. You won't be disappointed.