Pants marked "returned because they looked used and dirty." Because you used them and made them dirty, fool.
Kid's shoes that were marked "child refused to wear them." There's a wad of gum on the bottom that begs to differ, pal.
A pair of sneakers with totally worn soles marked "hole in sole on first wearing." Did you walk across the country on that first wearing, friend?
Who are these people? What gives you the courage to stand before someone and claim that you wore an obviously trashed pair of shoes only once? I don't get it.
Also? Next month I'll need to get a headset to be able to talk on the phone in the car. I hate Bluetooth. I'm going to look for a headset that makes me look like a Time Life operator.