Saturday, May 17, 2008

Bluetooth Makes You Look Like An Asshole

We went to the REI members-only used goods sale. The deal is, if you're a coop member, you can buy all the stull that was returned to the store in less than perfect condition. They put tags on everything so you know why it was returned. Lots of stuff makes sense - the pants that didn't fit well, the shoes that were slightly too small. Lots of stuff makes perfect sense - the first owner was an asshole.

Pants marked "returned because they looked used and dirty." Because you used them and made them dirty, fool.

Kid's shoes that were marked "child refused to wear them." There's a wad of gum on the bottom that begs to differ, pal.

A pair of sneakers with totally worn soles marked "hole in sole on first wearing." Did you walk across the country on that first wearing, friend?

Who are these people? What gives you the courage to stand before someone and claim that you wore an obviously trashed pair of shoes only once? I don't get it.

Also? Next month I'll need to get a headset to be able to talk on the phone in the car. I hate Bluetooth. I'm going to look for a headset that makes me look like a Time Life operator.

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

No comments: