Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Going to Hell

I was looking for camping spots for this summer yesterday. I was looking at the Lake Tahoe KOA. I've always disliked KOAs because they utilize one of my biggest pet peeves - cutesy misspelling/using the wrong letter on purpose. Did you realize the K stands for Kampground? Grrr....

But whatever. Are all KOAs religiously affiliated, or just this one? Is the K actually for Krist? Because this website was crazy. There's a counter that shows just how many people are dying as you peruse the site. Makes you want to whip out the s'mores and sing Kumbayaa, huh?

Best of all, there's a simple quiz you can take to see whether or not you're going to hell. I'm always interested in my afterlife options, so I took the test. I am going straight to the fiery pits of Hell. Yippee - I won't have to worry about the campfire burning out. Do you think there's mosquitos in Hell?



One of the arguments to stop wasting time and start getting on salvation was,

Would you sell one of your eyes for a million dollars? How about both eyes for ten million? No one in their right mind would! Your eyes are precious to you... but they are only a "window" for your soul. Your soul (your inner being, your life, your personality) looks out through those eyes. Consider how precious your eyes are... then realize that Jesus said that Hell is so horrible that you would be better off tearing out your own eyes than ending up there for all eternity (Mark 9:43-48).

Perhaps you feel safe because you don't believe in Hell. This can be likened to standing in the middle of a busy highway and shouting, "I don't believe in trucks!" Your belief or disbelief in trucks will not change reality. The same applies in this situation. Your disbelief in Hell will not cause it to cease to exist. God has given us HIS WORD on the existence and purpose of Hell... LOOK HERE to see what God says in the Bible about Hell.


Um, where do I have to go to get a million dollars for one of my eyes? Did I miss the sale? Perhaps I'm not in my hellbound right mind, but that seems like a pretty good deal to me, especially if I get to wear a jaunty patch!

4 comments:

nik said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I, also, am going to hell. Why, you ask? Well, I have, at least once in my life, lusted after someone. Apparently, that makes me an adulterer. We won't even get into the Christmas card I made from the picture I took of my teddy bear in my unsuspecting neighbor's manger.

Kalin said...

Oh. My God. Ohmigod. Please for the sake of everything that is right and holy (and I don't mean God) DO NOT STAY IN THAT KAMPGROUND!!!

That counter is the most terrifying thing I've ever seen.

Hmm. I've visited two KOAs, and neither seemed particularly religious. Still, the creep factor was ultra-high. I'd stick with the Forest Service if I were you...

Dale said...

This is traveling around my office right now. Also I do not in fact believe in trucks.

Dale W. said...

eeeeewwwww....

maybe i'd stay there just to see what fundamental whackos are really like in the morning. do they sleep in? do they wake up with those fake smiles, or do they let out a big fart like the rest of us?

hannah says that koa allegedly has or had ties to the kkk, though, so maybe i'd steer clear. i wouldn't want to see what they look like in the morning.

happy camping. did hannah tell you we got a pop-up camper?